Return to All Videos
- Gain a deeper understanding of trauma, shame, and compassion — and the different ways these terms may be interpreted
- Learn how traumatic experiences contribute to the formation of shame, and explore the multifaceted expressions of shame in individuals’ lives, offering insights into its far-reaching impact
- Experience a captivating clinical demonstration, as Dr. Maté employs the transformative method of Compassionate Inquiry to help a client work with shame
Want to Earn CE Credits and Get Lifetime Access?
Upgrade to the Event Training Package to earn 14 CE Credits and Get Lifetime Access to the Sessions.
Thank you so much Chantelle for opening up to this very uncomfortable sensations. I understand and related fully to you. Thank you Gabor and all of you for this space of compassion. So needed in the world.
So inspiring to witness. Thank you both for this beautiful display of holding and vulnerability. And for your concise and clear explanations Dr Mate.
Thanks Dr. Gabor Mate for a deep and moving lecture and demonstration! Thanks to Chantelle as well for immersing herself in this painful exploration and withstanding it.
Amazing and brave of Chantelle, thank you Gabor, I learnt so much and this takes me back to my compassion roots and confirms my desire to train further in this.
Thank you Gabor. This was inspiring for me
Thank you so much for this speaking Gabor Maté. Shame Trauma Compassion the demo
How a child response is so important. I would like to know much of that approach. Thank you for that summit. Compassion therapy.
Gabor’s talk was very interesting and inspiring to me. Its conclusions, however, left a bad taste in my mouth. Gabor ended the session by asking the client about her current treatment, saying he doesn’t wish to come between her and her therapist. A moment later, however, he did just that by dismissing an entire therapeutic technique with one sentence, determining that the client didn’t receive appropriate treatment without knowing anything about the therapeutic process she underwent, then offered his therapy instead in an act of disrespect toward the client’s therapist. But most disappointing to me was that he chose to do this in front of the entire audience. Even if he genuinely believed that he could offer the client better treatment than the one she was receiving, he could have approached her in private. Instead, he chose to publicly disqualify other therapeutic methods and offer a scholarship to his own, in what mostly appeared as self-enhancement. A grating final note to an otherwise good talk.
… what if … he might simply be right, that this couragous young woman is not getting everything she can get and might need or want from her current therapist….
…what if you/we would respekt her free choice, between two offers, or the choice of thaking the best of both of them – and her beiing able to feel and decide what is good for her…
… what if we would start to respect the couragous
Dr Mate’ offering an additional (…) treatment to
the one she is getting already, despite he might
be braking a disfunctional “taboo” – of not doing
so…
When I am the patient loking for help, I do check
different offers and possibilities, and I do hope
that no therapist or healer will hesitate to share
what he/she has to offer, just because it migth
be condemmed by people who think this is not
to be done …
p.s. and I would hope that both healers or therapists have the open minded- and heartedness to be able to deal with it instead of reacting in an ego-centered way – “feeling” “disqualified”.
Thank heavens I always managed to find healers,
teachers or therapists who do so and who wish me the best and as musch as I can get without judging me to try different approaches.
My impression of Dr Mate’ is that he does have
this maturity not to claim being the one and only.
Thus I would and do choose to learn from what he has to offer – as a teacher, healer and human beiing.
The client (human being) is suffering. The clinician (human being) knows she holds/her body is guiding her toward her innate capacity to find relief – and can guide her to this knowing and revealing of wholeness. This is humanity – nothing to do with propaganda or ego.
how do i find out more about compassionate inquiry method. I had to stop and take breaks for a few days and then watch more and then take breaks, i realized today, i needed to finish the session….I’m on hour 5 of watching 30 minutes. I am a person with several disabilities.
I feel the same thing. It’s a lot to listen and have the time to understand. I need to have days to meditate all the informations. It’s go so fast.
An incredible amount of value on a personal and professional level. Stripping back to being human and connecting human to human with an abundance of insightful information. So grateful, thank you. I am not a fan of CBT either.
AMEN!! CBT doesn’t work for trauma it feels like gaslighting to me. I am an art therapist and in grad school it seems that they push CBT. I started EMDR after Katrina and it was amazing in my healing journey. For my own private practice I wanted to focus on the body and combining movement and the creative process to help heal from trauma.
Very informative by putting definitions to words that are so familiar in the therapeutic environment and associating them to compassion versus diagnoses and pathology.
Great I’ve learned so much
Thanks a lot
I will like to revive information about Gabor Mate Program
Thank you Chantelle, so much, for this. I was so moved and feel supported in my clinical work by seeing this work you’ve done together.
I wish to have learned about prof gabor, before my parenting. Ecellent
I realize that quite a few people might feel threatened by the
work of Dr. Mate’ because it implies a paradigm-shift in the way we percieve illness and health and even of our worldview of what being human means in general.
A paradigm shift that is so urgently needed because we are about to distroy ourselfes and our planet by the way we limit and define ourselfs. A globalized worldview of fragmentation and mind oriented ideological and/or materialistic competitive detatchment. Detachment from life itself and from our hearts and bodies, with all the terrible implications for what we do to ourselfes, to each other and to the other lifeforms on this planet.
Unfortunately those days dogmatic identifiction with common views, with manmade paradigms and thus the urge to defend them as if we would defend abolute thruth and our existence, still is part of our collective illness.
Thank you Dr.Mate’ for sharing how to open up y/our heart and mind, which enables you and others, who wish to do the same, to find ways of healing and how to get beyond this long period of complex human trauma.
Ways of healing our souls on a different level and not just by “killing” the pain or shifting or supressing the symptoms in order to go on functioning within a sick system again …
And thanks to all indigenous teachers like Sherry Mitschell and Robin Wall Kimmerer, to Four Arrows and to wonderful people like Darcia Narvaez, Marshall Rosenberg and the many others for being on this path as well, that offers hope and new possibilities!
Because “rescuing” is indeed what is needed now – rescuing ourselfes and our humanity and all those who are distructively affected by our traumatized and narcisstic behaviours.
p.s. so sorry for spelling her name wrongly:
‘Sherri Mitchell’ is the correct spelling ….
Extraordinary video! Thank you 🙏🏻 I just finished Dr Mate’s book “The Myth of Normal” An incredible book that has been so helpful to me with my journey of healing ❤️🩹 that began a year ago. (FYI…I’m 67) Listening to Dr Mate’s various interviews online (so helpful) and reading his newest book has helped me more than my many years of therapy. I actually feel based on my early childhood experiences (My Mother’s reaction at 36 years old to a nose operation in 1960 (I was 5) triggered her depression and mania (she was manic-depressive) spending half of the next 11 in mental hospitals was a nightmare. I felt alone abandoned my whole childhood. This TRAUMA was followed by my fathers death at 45 by a drunken driver when I was 8 which emotionally paralyzed me for 20 years. NOT one person ever asked me how I was feeling and I have felt fear and shame for nearly 60 years. I entered therapy at 28 and it wasn’t until my early 40’s I began what became a successful 24 year career. With the help of a “healer” and reading/listening to Dr Mate’s “The Myth of Normal” I’ve realized my reaction to my TRAUMAS is normal. Thank you 🙏🏻 Dr Mate’ … My life goal is to feel “safe” (no more shame) and spend my next many years without the psychic pain that I’ve experienced since I was 8. Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you Chantelle,
This means a lot.
Honest and human. I wish you could email the transcript,
Thanks.
Thank you too Chantelle, very much appreciated.
Jenny
really appreciate the sharing of your experience, skill and expertise. very grateful. Jenny
I have listened to and read Gabor’s work. I see that many people are drawn to his way of presenting himself including in this “interview”. While I do applaud the effort and some of the important insights of his writing and presentations – including the critical links he makes to societal inequity, trauma and physical and emotional functioning- I did not value the interpersonal dynamics of this or any of his other public presentations.
There is a clear power differential. Gabor is not a qualified therapist as far as I know. He had very little in-depth information about the interviewee or their inner and outer resources, or lack thereof. I also thought that Gabor set himself up to be a “rescuer” with no consideration of the breadth, understanding or skill of this person’s current therapist. The current therapist was not professionally consulted with the permission of the interviewee. The current therapist did seem to be exploring bodily reactions as well as thoughts and behaviours. I thought Gabor was pre-emptive and professionally disrespectful of the current therapeutic relationship.
For me, this interview appeared to be more about Gabor’s “performance”, rather than an authentic and thorough exploration of this person’s current functioning, her therapeutic journey, her current strengths and challenges and what might constitute a truly favourable healing environment.
“Gabor is not a qualified therapist as far as I know”…
What makes a person a “qualified therapist”?
Following a mainstream therapy-education, beeing agnowleged by some officials with officially agnowleged cirteria, who are not willing or able to question or expand them?
Intresting, how you mingle your own projections
with your convictions and interpretations, while discrediting him, his work and the people who learn from him or who seek his help as “those who are drawn to his way of presenting himself” –
“Presenting himself as a rescuer”…
Is this your perception – that this is about “presenting himself in a certain way?
I know I do not have to rescue him from this kind of jugemental perception, but I will definately keep rescuing myself from a certain type of “qualified therapists” who are stuck within and identified with their own limiting believes without realizing it.
Your comments gave me food for thought, and after much reflection my conclusion is the same, Gabor Maté is a skilled practitioner. He clearly understands how to facilitate healing, and create a safe space that’s ’person’ led.
One thing I found particularly interesting was the comment …. ‘He had very little in-depth information about the interviewee or their inner and outer resources, or lack thereof’. Are you suggesting that the therapist would know more about the ‘interviewee’ than she would know about herself?
It’s my opinion that Gabor Maté understood that he had direct access to the only source of information he needed…. The ‘interviewee ’ herself. This recognition is evidence that there was no power differential here. I often feel that we as therapists can create the power differential, when we see ourself as the ‘expert’ in any therapeutic relationship.
I agree. CBT bores the hell out of me. ( speaking as a therapist)
Dear Jon, CBT is not my prefered approach either, because it is linked to a limiting, originally excluding nonholistig mind and behviourcentered paradigm around life and human beings.
Where as I prefer holistic approaches linked to deeper layers of our existence.
Which includes integration on the mind- and behavioural level as well.
And I realize that we as therapists should
be very cautious not to become judgmental ourselfes in one direction or another.
CBT might help to a certain extent for certain problems and people.
The problem is indeed that mainstram healtcare
wants to “push” certain approaches and discredits others. It is time that we reach a different level in our maturity as humans and professionals – which is inclusive and not
exclusive, judgemental and competitive.
“As well as” – related to context and circumstances – instead of “either or” – without any opening for other options.
Gabor Mate’s talk so profoundly impacted me that I instantly resolved to purchase the training course and share with a younger friend who told me not long ago that she wanted to understand her shame feelings better. I am a qualified therapist myself (although not anywhere near as highly qualified or experienced as Gabor). Healing our own traumas brings with it a deep understanding of other’ trauma, and the ability to connect on an existential level, which we innately have but lose access to through shaming and abuse. I wonder whether you noticed the expression of deep gratitude on the face of the woman at the end of her interaction with Gabor. It was no ‘performance ‘ in her experience.
Dr. Gabor Mate did an excellent job with the time that he had available. His inquiries and reassurances are modeled after IFS. With 50 plus years of experience, numerous groundbreaking books and a wonderful rapport, he is more than qualified.
I’ve seen many talks with Gabor and this was one of the best!
Thank you Chantelle for showing up openly and courageously. It was such a generous act ♡
For me that was an importent learning experience, watching Dr. Gabor, but thanks to your presence and authenticity I also able to stay present with you through it all..
I feel so grateful for seeing the demo. I experienced another step of healing ♡
Very interested in Dr Mate’s online course. How do we access it? When I developed CFS on top of my fibromyalgia, I suspected it had something to do with my childhood trauma. Dr Mate told the story of my life. So good to get some validation, but now that I’m so ill, can the course, or anything, help me function?
Mind blowing!! I could watch Dr. Gabor work all day!!
Thank you for such a beautiful and moving demonstration of the power of compassion, Dr. Mate. So thankful!! Thank you very much Chantelle, for your courageous vulnerability with your experience!
Thank You, Dr. Gaborte. You are such an inspiration, I received my first book in graduate school from my professor—Trauma Therapist.
Amazing as always to hear Gabor. Seeing him work with someone was very powerful – a privilege. Thank you.
Can the narcissists get the compassion of possibility? Is NPD curable? 🙁
very interesting and powerful, thanks.
Dear Chantelle,
Thank you for offering to engage in such a presentation to help the rest us really appreciate this compassionate approach to healing. I work with young people in the UK and have begun the journey of using a compassionate approach to healing and I am seeing benefits far more quickly than previously for the healing of traumatised clients. I wish you well on your journey.
Thank you again for putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable so others may learn.
Where can we find out more about the online course Dr. Maté offered to Chantalle?
Grateful for this authentic and revealing interaction between two beautiful souls.
Thank YOU Chantelle for showing up so courageously so we could learn and experience a bit together!! That´s so generous, even if it might not feel like it. All the best from Germany for your journey ahead!!
Gabor is always interesting and informative. He has a genuine feeling for helping others through great difficulties and has honestly and actively pursued this to create healing in his own way. Great session!!
Chantelle you are an amazing person! So thrilled that you have been offered compassionate support! You deserve it and are awesome to all you meet. Keep going.
I am so thankful for this demonstration because I have been in therapy for years and not much healing has occurred. I still do not know who I am, I still can’t feel my body, and I just learned that my throat constriction really has to do with something I can’t articulate. All I know is that I am a people pleaser, I don’t know what to do with all of the shaming that continues on. I recognize the shaming instantly and it scares me into this house. It occurs to me that I have been been prevented from living my life. I just want someone to quietly hold me while I cry it out. It will have to be someone I trust and that will not be my spouse. I have been waking up to the fact that I walk on eggshells, essentially married my Mum. He was abused but is not the one who has the ability to help me walk forward. What I can’t articulate is what happened so long ago. I didn’t realize it. I didn’t have the lexicon for it. I’m weary and just need help,
a sanctuary. It is so confusing and the therapy has not helped me. I didn’t even know what was going on or that I had such a problem until recently. Thank you for your help. I always tell my husband that the same things are happening to those on the streets.
I call those areas, “lack of love,” lanes. I know why many don’t want to be in shelters because they don’t want to abide by the rules, one being no substance abuse. They need the substance in order to survive, an escape from deep pain. This is the reality many don’t understand for they have not experienced this deep pain. Even so, this is a huge problem and I get it. Thank goodness for your help and your support.
From your name I deduct that you are German or have some German background. I only recently discovered the richness of work in the German therapeutic community that deals with the very unique problems of the war and after-war generations in this country. Find a therapist that gives you an instinctive sense of connection. You are right, trust is paramount.
An amasing lecture and sesion!!
Well done Mr.Matte 😊
Thank you Dr Mate, as wonderful, inspiring and affirmative as ever. Charlene (hope I’ve got that right) an even bigger thank you for sharing that with us 💞 what a privilege 💖
To clarify, our privilege 💖